Letting Your Loved One Know that You Are Going to Family Connections
We often get asked whether the BPD sufferers should be told that their family members are going to Family Connections. There is no one correct answer to this question.
In some cases, when BPD sufferers find out that their family members are taking responsibility for their part in the relationship by attending FC, they are encouraged to attempt DBT treatment themselves. This is especially so when their loved ones bring the skills home and the sufferers witness how positively the skills impact on the relationship.
In other cases, BPD sufferers may be extremely suspicious of this endeavor. They may feel betrayed because their family members are going to talk about them behind their backs. They may be angry because they feel that they are the ones who should be getting help, not their family members.
Ultimately, you need to gauge how you think your loved one may react and act accordingly.
Most importantly, usually there is no need to rush into telling them. Wait a few weeks, if possible. As you gain the skills taught in the course, you will be in a better position to evaluate whether you feel the need to tell them and whether this is, in fact, the most effective course of action.
Of course, should they explicitly ask you where you are going on Tuesday nights, before either brushing them off, asserting your right to privacy, or even lying to them about going to Family Connections you need to weigh the short and long-term impact of such a decision should they eventually find out.